Aye, that I am! Forgotten Realms, good fun. It's a pleasure to meet you all as well!

Rubbermancer -- downloaded your spells. Copied them into my word processor and began playing with them. My results --

Note that a number of spells assumed a body location chart. Yes, I have such, but I have a table for EVERYTHING, but that is an old-school talent that many playing today do not have.

Most spells also get a little specific about casting procedures, which are a little much for keeping the game simple. They were fun to read to however.

Boffin's Wart of Retort
Rewrote to handle Sorcerers and other spellcasters who do not memorize spells (one random spell from potential list is lost as if cast). Found other problems that needed to be redressed, so rewrote.

Boffin’s Contortionate Spasm
The problem with this is that it REQUIRES a 7th level spell (Regeneration) to repair. I thus set the spell will a duration after which the body returns to normal. This lowered the spell in my mind to only 4th level.

Boffin’s Boisterous Bifurcation
Uh, no. A little too powerful (especially for a 5th level spell). I tried to work with it, but still a little too powerful (might as well call it 'Destroy the World' spell). Cute idea, but a little too easy to abuse.

Boffin’s Reverse Mime
Silly, but not very useful. My group would just 'replay' killing [insert monster name] using the spellcaster as the token monster.

Boffin’s Burgeoning Blubber
I agree with you that this is just a creative curse. Thus, I might have a monster be creative in simply casting a curse.

Boffin’s Beefy Bicuspids
Might end up rewriting, but effectively using, this spell as an advance of the Magic Fang spell.

Boffin’s Epidermal Egress
Wonderful spell name, horrible spell. Stole the spell name.

Boffin’s Wall of Floor
A slightly fun rework of Levitation and Fly. It however gets extreme in affecting the gravity of other objects in that Reverse Gravity is a 7th level spell.

Boffin’s Bloody Amazing Thing Over There
Okay, I stole this one. There are other spells that can simulate, but this spell is just so -- specific. I had to allow it. I did allow a new save for 'actions upon one's body,' as I did not want this to become a pick-pocket spell.

Boffin’s Transcendental Surge
What? Didn't really get this one.

Boffin’s Wild Accusation
Quite a bit more than a Suggestion spell. There are other spells, but no reason to actually deny this one. Yep, stole it.

Boffin’s Pinch and Poke of Permanence
Merely a ploy to sell Boffinator Tickertrue Timepieces.

Turd to Word
No. Some might find this funny (or useful), but I have kids in my game (who probably would find this spell fun and useful).

Hide Hide
No. I am in the wrong frame of mind to understand this spell.

Boffin’s Aeronautical Imbuement
A really complicated Levitation spell on the unwilling.

Boffin’s Engrossing Grunge
I am not in the right frame of mind for this spell either. Honestly, though, I literally put my characters through filth just as part of a scenario. Don't need a spell.

Boffin’s Bucket of Boffins
I might come back and steal this one later. It could be fun.

Boffin’s Woeful Wormwater
Probably will come back and steal this one as well. Could work as a Druid spell.

Boffin’s Bluebell Bouquet
I believe that I already have a spell that does this. Not that it matters, as smell is something that really is not used enough (3ed did not even bother to have a Smell skill). Something like a Troglodyte's stench (or that of a Dreadleaf) could however be negated -- I might be back to look at this spell again and possibly steal.

Boffin’s Draw Crowd
Actually have a spell or two that does this.

Boffin’s Liquid Largesse
No. Simply allowing Create Water to work internally was considered too much.

Hehe, some mixed feedback here, fun to see. I'm guessing that a lot of the humour, the apparent lack of constraints, and the general wtf-ishness, are an internal thing that's somehow complementary to the consensual and creative framework of my own play group, ie: not something I'm conscious of unless I really nitpick it. So I wouldn't expect these spells to function perfectly within anyone's framework of house rules and unspoken play codes. I'd have to detach myself from my own personalized gaming experiences, and hold these spells up to the cold light of the rules as written, in order for that to fly.

I would, however, prefer any feedback on these to be constructive, rather than dismissive. "Wonderful spell name, horrible spell. Stole the spell name." No problem, but then I'd like to know why you think it's horrible. Unless I understand where you're coming from with this, your words carry no meaning for me.

"A slightly fun rework of Levitation and Fly. It however gets extreme in affecting the gravity of other objects in that Reverse Gravity is a 7th level spell." The big difference is, Wall of Floor ends 5 meters up, whereas Reverse Gravity can send a guy into the clouds. Albeit, Wall of Floor is a little more flexible in other ways, and admittedly open to abuse because of that. In our session last night, I planted it in front of a door before a horde of metal-armoured undeads and evil priests came through. They all hit the door, and then fell through it and hit the wall for a double surprise. I polymorphed one of them into a rust monster, it was very effective.

"Merely a ploy to sell Boffinator Tickertrue Timepieces." Hehe, you got me. Again, some internal campaign humour coming into play there. I'd hoped it would apply to outsiders as well, painting the "Boffin" phenomenon/creature a little more 3D, and thus a little more usable and flavourful in other people's campaigns.

"No. Simply allowing Create Water to work internally was considered too much." I don't consider that the least bit overpowered for a 6th level spell, taking spells like "Disintegration" and "Death Spell" into consideration. Is it the chaotic and potentially very powerful effects of magic potions that has you worried? My GM was happy enough to allow those, in light of the 50/50 odds that it will all backfire horribly.

I also should have noted somewhere in the doc that they're all invented by a pixie wild mage. They work quite well with my party, and with my GM's epic-disastrous-chaos-magic story style (otherwise he wouldn't have approved them). I'm glad you could get something out of it, though!

I understand how things can work in one campaign and not in another. My own campaign works for me, although few have a similar concept of fantasy for themselves. Still, there is fun in exchaning ideas.

(TerishD's concept for) Boffin’s Epidural Egress
Enchantment
Level: Wiz 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 round
Range: Touch
Effect: Object placed in body
Duration: 1 hour/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes
The target will be able to safely hold one item within his body that could be safely fit inside (a ball of porcupine quills or a 5ft pole would both cause problems). Others will not be able to detect the object by normal means, and magical means will have to bypass a saving throw of the target (usually a Will save should the spell itself not provide a saving throw). The target may remove the item (and end the spell) by simply touching the place where the item was inserted.

Boffin's Wall of Floor
I allow Reverse Gravity to work in any direction, so the 7th level spell is more usable (I do believe in the versatility of magic). There is also a spell limit in 3ed as to how far the magic works, so basically your spell (as far as gravity effects) IS Reverse Gravity in my game. I would allow and limit your spell to the personal effects (combining a 2nd level spell and a 3rd level spell with some limits can make it 5th) but not include effecting others (which interjects effects from a 7th level spell).

Boffin’s Liquid Largesse
Honestly, just having the liquid present inside a character was enough to have me say no. I am from the period when people were attempting to abuse the Create Water spell. Being in college at the time (and as we were such intellectuals), we debated this spell while following the debates of others. We ended up agreeing to leave Create Water alone. I am still of that mentality (being old and hardened in my ways). If there is a potion effect that pleases you, write a spell that duplicates it.

I like the reverse of Boffin's Draw Crowd -- Disperse Crowd. I often play Bard characters and have made good use of the 1st level Bard Spell Instant Audience, which summons illusionary people. But dispersing a crowd can be very useful. Especially at closing time!

I didn't understand the Liquid Largesse spell. The text says that liquid is recreated in the stomach of the caster, but it's the target who get's bloated? I'm confused.

My jester character would love some of these.

Oops, that's just a typo. It's recreated in the stomach of the target.

Terish, I'm digging your version of Epidermal Egress! Methinks I'll be stealing that and converting it to 2E